There is NOBODY who loves my kids more than I do. They are the air I breathe and the reason I wake up each day. I never, EVER, could have imagined how much Motherhood would change my life.
I mean, I seriously asked for an electric toothbrush for Christmas. WTF has happened here? I spend my days cleaning the SAME mess 100 times!! My NUMBER ONE most used word, well, I guess it is a sound, is SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I haven't had 6 consecutive hours of sleep in 4 years. Most days I start my morning with a toddler in my face asking me to wipe his butt. I own about 12 pairs of faded black yoga pants. I am lucky if I take a shower AT ALL, and a fun day out is a Target shopping trip, without my kids. Somebody TELL ME this sounds FAMILIAR!!
So, I guess it is safe to say I am a little, well kind of a lot, stressed. The Holidays really wore me out this year. Shopping for 3 kids, burnt out tree lights, broken timers, FUCKING cake pops (NEVER AGAIN)....it was just a little much. But I must say, there is nothing like dinner with a great friend (and experienced mom) to shift back my mommy world, to somewhat normal, and make me realize things shouldn't be this hard! Yes!! You heard me, THINGS SHOULDN'T BE THIS HARD.
Wait...how can this be? How in the world, as a SAHM am I supposed to balance the emotional stress with the other 5000 job titles I take on, daily? Well....follow the advice given to me by my bitchin' mommy friend, Lesley. Ready...say the following out loud....
JUST SAY FUCK IT....doesn't that feel awesome???
The playroom is a pig sty again? You've only cleaned it up 50 times today. The kids don't want to sing the clean-up song and help out? Ready...FUCK IT. Leave it a mess, close the door and think about what bottle you are going to open for Happy Hour.
You are feeling like a bad mom because your kids have been watching TV for 3 days straight? Ugh, art projects are so great, but what a mess! FUCK IT. Pull out the paint, put on an old t-shirt and leave the mess for daddy. He can take control of the chaos for ONE night! When he comes home, just ask him if he would mind cleaning up while you slip into something a little more..comfortable. Always works!
Your son's been begging you to play trains, your daughter is emptying out all of the drawers in her room and the dirty clothes have taken over the laundry room...today you say FUCK IT. Really, who cares if EVERYTHING on your list doesn't get finished? You are a SAHM mom...which means, you LIVE at your office. Your stuff WILL get done. Pour yourself a beer and take a time-out in your closet. It will do EVERYBODY some good!
I challenge everyone to eat a cupcake for breakfast, leave the dishes in the sink and take a nap with your toddler. In a year you won't care if there were crushed goldfish on the floorboard of your car, or if the crib sheet didn't get changed. Just say (say it with me now) FUCK IT and enjoy the moment!! This is what having kids is all about!! CRAZY, HECTIC, INSANE, ANNOYING, HARD, OVERWHELMING, TIRING...but OOOOHHHHH SO WORTH IT!