Is Day Drinking and Diaper Changing a place where ANY mom can VENT, ask questions or express their absolute, raw, hard feelings and NOT be judged? YES. Yes, it is! BUT, I challenge all members to consider the way that their feelings may come across before hitting that "post" button. Just like we don't tolerate any form of judgmental comments, we also have to monitor any type of post that may appear to "fish" for negative feedback. In the Social Media world, people who post these types of comments are considered "Trolls." And ladies...nobody wants to be a TROLL.
So lets see some examples of some things that DON'T fly on our feed, and some alternative options that can be used.
Member: I hate my kid!!
Reply: How could you say that? Jesus, get a filter!
Both members were in the wrong in this situation. "I hate my kid" is not a comment that is easy in which to give feedback. If you are feeling this way and want to express your thoughts, you need to expand on your comment and give a way for someone to give caring advice or constructive feedback.
Alternative: "My kid is driving me absolutely nuts. He won't eat the dinners I make, colored all over my couch with a sharpie and pissed in the corner of my living room. WTF?!!!"
If you see a comment like, "I hate my kid!" instead of being a jerk, you need to assume this mom is IN THE MOMENT, at the end of her rope and just looking for someone to yell at...other than her KID! A great comment back would be, "Wow, I've been at my breaking point before! What's going on?? Tell us what happened so we can help!"
Member: Anyone ever just want to run away, leave their family and start over?!!
Reply: Never, I would never ever consider that.
What a shitty reply. Non-constructive, no good advice, and basically just makes the poster feel like crap. REALLY?? How is that a helpful reply? It's not. So it should never have been typed. A great reply to a post like this would be: "I definitely understand how you could feel overwhelmed, being a Mom isn't easy. What's going on?! I need more to this story so I can help!"
Member: My nipples are so sore! I just don't know if I can continue breast feeding. Anyone supplement with formula?
Reply: You need to continue breast feeding. It is what is best for the baby. You need to push through and suck it up.
Wow, that probably made that new, highly emotional, sleep deprived and stressed-out mom feel like shit. OPINION is not FACT. A great reply, that could convey the same thought would be: Breast feeding isn't easy for everyone. If you want to continue, try using some nipple shields or soothies. Another great idea would be to contact a lactation consultant or find a support group in your area, they really help! I breast fed all 8 of my kids and I am really PRO breast feeding! I understand that it might not be for everyone, but if you choose to push through, know that I am here to help!
Member: My neighbor is the worst mom ever. She feeds her kids crap like Crystal Burgers and Pop Rocks, and I swear I saw one of them pooping behind a tree in her front yard the other day. WTH is wrong with people??!!!
This is a judging post. Just because this mom might not be in our group, does not mean it is ok to judge her. There are a lot of members, and a comment such as this could be very offensive to some who sometimes rely on fast food to get them through dinner time. Posts like this will not be tolerated.
It's all in the words that you use and the tone that you set. Please THINK about the posts that you are making. Make sure that they are written in a way that are non-offensive and can't be taken the wrong way by our members. When you are replying to posts, THINK before you write. Choose your words carefully. Make sure that you are adding value to the conversation and not "stirring the pot."
If you EVER feel judged, offended or uncomfortable with a post in Day Drinking and Diaper Changing, PLEASE contact one of our Peace Keepers. We try hard to focus in on these issues, but sometimes things slip through the cracks. We will promptly respond and make sure the nip, whatever downhill slope a comment is heading to, in the bud!
Day Drinking and Diaper Changing is a place where we can discuss anything from diaper rash to husband issues. We are awesome because instead of judging each other, we aim to support and understand. Please don't break our momentum and jeopardize the dynamic of our group by being insensitive or uncaring.
There is now a ZERO-tolerance policy for judging or rude comments. This applies to "trolling" posts or negative feedback. Please don't break this rule, or you will be removed from our group.
On another note, if you haven't yet checked out the rest of our website, please take a moment to see what we are all about. Make sure to visit our WELCOME page to view all of our guidelines and weekly events, stop by our ANGEL program and get the scoop on how you can help a Mom and check out our MUST HAVES for products that are recommended by our members. There is some awesome content there, so don't miss out!!
Please don't hesitate to contact ME or any of our TEAM MEMBERS if you have any awesome ideas to bring to the group, or you have any issues with the feed, members or rules.