1. The thought of sniffing a butt is completely normal.
2. You bust out in hysterical laughter when your husband mentions "Reverse Cowgirl."
3. You question whether or not you brushed your teeth at 3 in the afternoon.
4. You pull clothes out of the hamper and use a washcloth to wipe off the snot stains.
6. The biggest ASSHOLE in your life is the laundry room.
7. You are embarrassed to roll down your car window, with the fear your neighbor might smell the stench coming from the back seat.
8. You mutter the word "Motherfucker" under your breath at least 10 times a day.
9. Your favorite beauty product is Dry Shampoo.
10. You write your grocery list with a crayon.
11. You take "time outs" in your pantry and shoot tequila.
12. Your kid starts to barf and you try to catch it with your hands.
13. You dig for your keys in your purse and pull out a pair of spiderman underpants.
14. You can tie a shoe, nurse a baby and pee at the same time.
15. Sometimes the only shower you get consists of baby wipes and perfume.